Ninja

This is not supposed to be the topic of my blog now. I don’t even know if this would give justice to my hiatus from WordPress. The topic I started several hours ago seems vague, even when I’ve written almost an entire page for it. It should be clear to my mind first. What’s happening to me? I tried to surf on some sites. Stared from my window and saw the scary dark night. Even if I’ve just saw my celebrity crush, Coco Martin, nothing can’t seem to inspire me to blog. I was just planning a day before that if I can get to finish a blog now, I’ll write a status message on FB about what inspired me to blog again. It’s barely an hour before this day ends. And yet, I’m just re-starting to blog. Inspiration. In what form will it come to me? Goodness gracious. Talk about another writer’s block.

Ninja. It’s not the ninja most people know nor does it refer to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Tryin hard to sound funny). The ninja I’m referring to is a slang term for people who disappear without a trace. I’ve met a lot of them. I don’t know why I’m prone to meet people, or specifically guys, like them :(

Ninja One. He used to be my ideal man. My young heart felt so blessed that I’ve met him. But the frequent visits were trim down to none. The next thing I knew was were off. No explanation. I’ve almost drowned my self from tears and took me almost a decade to finally accept that we’re not meant to be. He’s happily married now.

Ninja Two. I have this college crush whom I’ve been ‘spying’ on online for quite some time now. But knowing that a really good friend likes him a lot made me suppressed my feelings. I wanted to think that he likes me as well. But I’m dismissing the thought (Sorry, I can’t help my self to become so ‘feeling’ at times…). I’ve realized that my poor heart no longer deserves to hope and assume. Guys can make you feel ultra special, but they don’t mean it. They don’t mean it because they’re just like that to a lot of girls as well.

Ninja Three. The time I was recovering from my Ninja One, I asked God for some few signs for the next man that I’ll fall in love with. When I started with my second job, God granted all those ‘signs’ and found them all to this guy. He even asked me to marry him. Now, he’s married to someone else.

Ninja Four. He’s a straight forward guy who told me that he likes me and so bold enough to say that maybe, I’m the one he’s been looking for all along. Giving our selves the chance to know if we’d click, I found out that he doesn’t really like me at all. He asked me for more than what I can give. And that’s all he needs to say to turn me off. And then he went ninja per my permission.

Ninja Five (‘Cant believe they’re five). He’s a humble man and I appreciate he’s being so trusting and very vocal about his mom, dad, and sisters. This guy made me think that maybe if we’re not meant for a romantic relationship, we’d click as good friends. I like his personality. But our chats and his calls abruptly ended. I don’t even know if he’s been to the Philippines recently. He said we’ll meet, but we never. I hope nothing’s bad happened to you, friend. To be honest, nag-alala ako more than disappointed. I hope you can read this. Don’t worry, friend. I’m honestly not expecting anything romantic between us. I just know in my heart that you are a good person who can also be a really good friend. Take care wherever you are.

Some of the guys I described here have been mentioned and discussed in my previous blogs. Whenever I try to go back to what had happened, a bit of loneliness still creeps in. I know I should have been writing more on topics that I ought to write about – earthquake in Haiti, incoming Philippine presidential election… So sorry. Sometimes, as much as I wanted to focus my writing more on socially relevant issues, personal issues get in the way…

Meeting ninjas is sad. Maybe something is really wrong with me. Or maybe they’re meant to become ninjas that way. Or maybe, someone who’ll stay is yet to come. As Michael Buble’s song goes ‘I just haven’t met you yet…’

Good evening, everyone! Err, Good morning, rather