Some Revelations I Used to Be Afraid, Hesitant, and Shy to Share…

This was originally posted on my FS blog on December 2, 2006. I’ll soon write a follow up to this, a much updated version. This re-posted entry has some few tweaking. I just want to share (again) my thoughts and experiences on some things…

LIFE
Should be entrusted to God completely

POLITICS
Most people who are into it are lured by the desire to gain power and money and not by the devotion to serve (God’s) people. It sucks.

PHIL. GOVT
It thinks Filipinos are gullible. But Juan Dela Cruz’s race thinks and acts like one at times, especially during election. So depressing. Beware of the ultra dirty traditional politicians. Mas may silbi sana sila nung dumating sila Ondoy, Peping, at Santi kasi kelangan ng maraming trapo nun panlinis ng maruming kapaligiran (Weeehh.. bad girl… Got it from an entry in Chico and Delamar’s Top Ten in RX Monster Radio)

FAMILY
Second to God. People who’ll love you as you are and help you grow closer to God.

FRIENDSHIP
Truly an amazing God’s gift. No commitment and yet true love resides.

RELATIONSHIPS
Should be an extension of one’s best self. Don’t be into it if you haven’t found yourself yet. It’s not the missing piece that would complete you. That ultra special someone should complement you.

“The most amazing love is the one you have for yourself. And if you find someone who love the YOU you love, then that’s just fabulous..”(Carrie Bradshaw, “Sex and the City”)

SINGLE BLESSEDNESS
If you’re not happy being single, then you can’t be happy if you’re in a relationship as well.

IDEAL DATE
Anywhere that stars (Hey, Spica!) and the moon can be seen best

SWEETEST THING(S) THAT A GUY CAN DO
Sing me a song. Laugh at my super corny jokes.  Pray with me.

WORST THING THAT HE CAN DO
Make me feel that I don’t exist

PEOPLE I CONSIDER MOST WONDERFUL
Those who speak their minds without even trying to impress; those who talk about how much they love their family; those who express their religious faith without bragging how his/her soul would be saved come doomsday; those who dream big and put their hearts on it; those who have scarred soul but stay beautiful

THING THAT CAN FREAK ME OUT AND LOSE MY RESERVED PERSONALITY
Insult me or hurt anyone in my family

UNPLEASANT BEHAVIOR THAT CAN MAKE ME FEEL EXTREMELY UNWORTHY
Scream at my face. It would make me cry in an instant. My Tatay never even did it to me when he was still alive.

ONE OF THE MOST DARING THINGS I EVER DID
Raced through a bus stop to look for my English 23 Instructor (Who extremely disliked me because I’m part of the student paper that she considers “pasaway.” We write articles in the paper against her then because she’s way abusive of her being a teacher) in a bus where I suspected her to be to pass my thesis proposal. The bus had then started to move and I was like crazy looking for her when all along I knew that she had noticed me na. And when I finally saw her, I insisted that she has no reason whatsoever not to accept my proposal. Kasi sabi nya she will not accept propposal once she reached Trece Martirez where she lives. The ride was then halfway through to Indang-Trece boundary and she was like delaying her decision so I would be rejected.

She gave me 3 on the subject. The lowest grade I ever received all my school life, in one of the subjects I like best. One major move that crushed by cum laude dream I promised for my nanay..

MAJOR EGO-BREAKING THING I DID IN 2006 (as of Dec1)
Phoned in someone I’ve been praying to talk to, to ask for a time when we could “settle” “unsettled things.” The talk never materialized (I’m sooooo over this by now anyway. Closure has found its way to my soul last 2007 pa).

ONE OF MY FONDEST CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
Ate an orange crayon! ‘Was so curious about what would happen when the orange crayon mixed with my red, young blood. I was like 4 or 5 then. My Tatay almost suffered from panic attack.

ENCOUNTER WITH A TERROR ELEM. SCHOOL TEACHER
It was my first time to see a giant world map almost the size of the entire blackboard. I was so amazed by its hugeness that when my teacher called my name to show to the class where an Asian country is, it took me forever to locate it. She was so yamot that she held my head against the board (while I’m praying that may the floor swallow me whole) while screaming right to my face: LAKIHAN mo kasi ang mga mata mo!!!

My enraged nanay showed up to the guidance office the next day. Then I saw my teacher reported to the principal’s office that afternoon, head down. Since then, I became traumatized to teachers with short curly hair, thick eyeglass, big rolling eyes and pregnant-like belly. And since then also, I promised to myself that no one can ever make me feel so ‘tanga’ again. Ever.

ADVICE THAT MY TATAY ALWAYS TELLS ME WHEN HE WAS STILL ALIVE
‘Wag kang papa-api..”

One of My Most Important Realizations as a Writer

It just came to my senses again when I read a friend’s blog. It haunts me at first. But I am more definite now.

Few years back when I was an active student writer, my pen tackles mostly issues concerning the studentry, Philippine politics, and other matters majority of the people would simply not care about, even if they concern them. My ink was designed solely for these topics I considered it a sin not to tackle or made mention any of them in my Culture Clash column and all my articles. I embraced my idealisms wholeheartedly. I felt like I could help change the world through my pen. I never felt so human since then.

Pen is mightier than sword. Through writing, I believe my ink could speak for the condition of my fellow students and the suffering people. My fear that I might not graduate because one of my major subject instructors and our college dean were so mad at me was lesser than my ‘call’ to fight for what I believe is right. Never had I imagined that I’ll be so used talking to the university gods whenever an issue of our paper is released. I learned how to speak up bravely and stand for my idealisms. Even if it meant losing my cum laude bid, losing some friends, and gaining more enemies.

That was my ink. When I stepped into the corporate world, I continue with my writing. But my writing changed direction. My idealisms (unconsciously/suddenly) took a back seat and embraced the demands and requirements of the business world. If before my ink is flaming red with the socio political issues I fearlessly write, now, it’s like a perfume giving good smell equivalent to admirable reputation for companies, products, and services. I become even more dedicated to my craft and profession as a writer.

Then, I thought about my being a student writer back in college. Have I already forgotten it? Have I completely given up on my fight through my ink? Have I years after university? Every time I read a newspaper or watch news, I can’t help but to feel so bad, frustrated, and disappointed. I’m still mad over the selfish politicians and cruel and abusive people existing on this planet. I’m still enraged over those things.

But what I’ve realized is that, no one can change the world over night. You can’t write about feudalism, bureaucrat capitalism, and imperialism when you are living luxuriously in the comfort of your own home, eating more than three times a day, and socialize with people ignorant of the face of poverty. You can’t write about these things when all your clothes, accessories, personal effects, and even your ‘pambahay,’ is Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Lacoste, and Ralph Lauren. You can’t claim that you know the pain of people suffering from abuse and extreme hunger when your stomach is always filled. You can’t get people to believe in you when all you’re writing about is miles apart from how you live your life. I see leaders of famous party list groups very vocal about condemning the Philippine government and the U.S. imperialism, but living a life luxuriously and spending holidays in Uncle Sam’s land.

I don’t want to be like that. If I were to persuade people, encourage them to fight for their idealisms, to care for others, to give a damn about what’s happening in our society, I want them to see my own idealisms and beliefs not only through my writing. I want them to see it with the way I live. Practice what you preach. That rule very much applies to this case as well.

When you are too absorbed by the idea of making everyone buy your idea, you have the tendency to forget the very nature of what you wish to convey. And when that happens, you’re not becoming faithful with the idea of using your pen to the cause that you want to uphold. And you’ll consequently never find fulfillment in that.

I may not be writing what I used to tackle when I was a student writer. But now, being a writer by profession, every time I write something about a company, a product, or a service, I always see to it that I infuse some touch of my being a Filipino and my home land. This, I think, is one simple action I can always do and make people see and believe

Beautiful Lyrics from Two OPM

Songs with meaningful lyrics always catch my attention, regardless of genre or whether foreign or local. It’s actually the primary reason why I love a certain song. Specifically, music with social relevance has a special place in my heart.

Few months ago, these two OPM made me listen closely to their lyrics. They are beautiful and very timely.

Gloc 9 and Zelle’s ‘Upuan’ is powerful, with a clear sense of direction on whom the song is referring to and what the song is all about. With the 2010 presidential election fast approaching, the song describes the ultra dirty traditional politicians infesting the Philippine government. It talks about the self centered people claiming to be public servants, totally ignorant of the suffering of its countrymen. It deals about these power hungry people who don’t wanna relinquish their posts because they are not done yet protecting themselves and their family against their own crimes. They are not done yet regaining the crazy amounts of money they’ve spent in election to fool the voting population. And they are not yet done stealing money from the poor Filipinos.

The lyrics is well crafted, very reflective of the country’s stinking politics. Everywhere you turn your eyes to, you can see the face of poverty in the Philippines. And what is so disgusting is that, traditional politicians live their lives luxuriously, unmindful of the large percentage of the projected 92.19M Philippine population (1 August 2009) almost dying of hunger. ‘Upuan’ clearly describes them all. And Gloc 9 perfectly captured the myopic perception of these shameless citizens in this line: ‘Kahit sa dami ng pero niyo walang doktor na makapag papalinaw ng mata niyo..’‘

A Note to God’ is Charice Pempengco’s another equally beautiful song, matched with her soulful voice. I sooo love the lyrics it can even bring tears to my eyes. We are living in a times that violence is slowly becoming the norm, with a lot of innocent lives wasted, especially those of the children.

I particularly love these lines:

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven’t got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we’re on…

Those lines remind of Black Eyed Peas’ ‘Where is the love?’ It do breaks my heart every time I see suffering and dying people from war, terrorism, and other forms of violence. God, a lot of people cease to become humans anymore… We really can’t make it through without You. Please help us Father God…

Try to listen closely to the lyrics of this song. It really gives me goose bumps.  The melody is so perfect for the song. It’s literally like crying out our hearts to God. This is truly a beautiful prayer song that every nation can sing to.