One of My Most Important Realizations as a Writer

It just came to my senses again when I read a friend’s blog. It haunts me at first. But I am more definite now.

Few years back when I was an active student writer, my pen tackles mostly issues concerning the studentry, Philippine politics, and other matters majority of the people would simply not care about, even if they concern them. My ink was designed solely for these topics I considered it a sin not to tackle or made mention any of them in my Culture Clash column and all my articles. I embraced my idealisms wholeheartedly. I felt like I could help change the world through my pen. I never felt so human since then.

Pen is mightier than sword. Through writing, I believe my ink could speak for the condition of my fellow students and the suffering people. My fear that I might not graduate because one of my major subject instructors and our college dean were so mad at me was lesser than my ‘call’ to fight for what I believe is right. Never had I imagined that I’ll be so used talking to the university gods whenever an issue of our paper is released. I learned how to speak up bravely and stand for my idealisms. Even if it meant losing my cum laude bid, losing some friends, and gaining more enemies.

That was my ink. When I stepped into the corporate world, I continue with my writing. But my writing changed direction. My idealisms (unconsciously/suddenly) took a back seat and embraced the demands and requirements of the business world. If before my ink is flaming red with the socio political issues I fearlessly write, now, it’s like a perfume giving good smell equivalent to admirable reputation for companies, products, and services. I become even more dedicated to my craft and profession as a writer.

Then, I thought about my being a student writer back in college. Have I already forgotten it? Have I completely given up on my fight through my ink? Have I years after university? Every time I read a newspaper or watch news, I can’t help but to feel so bad, frustrated, and disappointed. I’m still mad over the selfish politicians and cruel and abusive people existing on this planet. I’m still enraged over those things.

But what I’ve realized is that, no one can change the world over night. You can’t write about feudalism, bureaucrat capitalism, and imperialism when you are living luxuriously in the comfort of your own home, eating more than three times a day, and socialize with people ignorant of the face of poverty. You can’t write about these things when all your clothes, accessories, personal effects, and even your ‘pambahay,’ is Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Lacoste, and Ralph Lauren. You can’t claim that you know the pain of people suffering from abuse and extreme hunger when your stomach is always filled. You can’t get people to believe in you when all you’re writing about is miles apart from how you live your life. I see leaders of famous party list groups very vocal about condemning the Philippine government and the U.S. imperialism, but living a life luxuriously and spending holidays in Uncle Sam’s land.

I don’t want to be like that. If I were to persuade people, encourage them to fight for their idealisms, to care for others, to give a damn about what’s happening in our society, I want them to see my own idealisms and beliefs not only through my writing. I want them to see it with the way I live. Practice what you preach. That rule very much applies to this case as well.

When you are too absorbed by the idea of making everyone buy your idea, you have the tendency to forget the very nature of what you wish to convey. And when that happens, you’re not becoming faithful with the idea of using your pen to the cause that you want to uphold. And you’ll consequently never find fulfillment in that.

I may not be writing what I used to tackle when I was a student writer. But now, being a writer by profession, every time I write something about a company, a product, or a service, I always see to it that I infuse some touch of my being a Filipino and my home land. This, I think, is one simple action I can always do and make people see and believe

Twenty-Something’s Crisis

I felt the need to repost this blog from my FS, which I originally posted on October 20, 2007. This has some additional tidbits, but basically retained the original post. I want to create a new entry related to this..
Katz, Nax, Peter, thank you so much for reading/visiting my blog  :)

I read an article somewhere na when you’re twenty something daw, you’ll tend to experience the so called “middle life crisis.” This, according to the article, is the stage daw when you suddenly become confused about a lot of things: your self, career, relationship and friends. Reading through the piece, I have concluded that I have gone through that stage. Ang hirap, sobra. I hated my self so much. It’s as if i’m not the “thinking and strong edz” as I know my self to be.

I resigned from my work as an Information Analyst in Alabang because I was too burned out. I like the work pero “napagod” talaga ako. From Alabang, I moved to Makati as a web content writer. The American employer was so strict that I can’t imagine my self staying there for another day. So I quitted again. Then came another opportunity from another web services outsourcing firm in Mandaluyong. I was about to start na pero bigla na naman ako nagkaroon ng reservations. Yun, di ko na naman tinuloy. Kahit very competitive sana ng salary and benefits.

Dami ko confusion no’n about my career. But now, I’m very happy na with my work. Kahit sobrang nakaka-pressure, I honestly love the challenge that goes with it. Nahihirapan lang ako sa idea na mahirap makipagsabayan pag sobrang galing ng mga colleagues mo. But so far, I can manage to deal with it the best way that I can. I’m so thankful that God put me in a job na sobrang bait ng employer. My current boss is one in a million. Sya lang ang boss na willing ka ipagtimpla ng coffee just to motivate you to finish your job. At sya lang ang boss na pag pressured and stressed ay nagti-treat ng bongga sa buong office. And sya yung boss na nagre-reflect un faith nya sa buong operation ng company. Anyone in the office pwede nyo tanungin about this. From the guards to the utility people, same treatment sya.

The “middle life crisis” I’ve dealt with also made me so lonely and alone about my being single. “Why can’t I find the man God has chosen for me when I’m actually ready na to commit (again) to a serious relationship.” Para akong tanga thinking that my biological clock is ticking so fast like a time bomb! Hehe…

But then again, I realized.. Ano naman ngayon kung single pa rin ako?!! (Kasi naman po, most of my batchmates are into a serious relationship na or are happily married na!). I have come to appreciate my being single like a bitter pill (sabi nga ni quickmelt sa Youngblood 1). I’ll stick to my faith that in God’s perfect time, the right man will come along. .

I’m just so thankful na na-overcome ko ang stage na yun. Now, i’m more certain that I am a better person. Mahirap yung “middle life crisis” na yun, Grabe! It came to a point kasi na I’m not eating properly na, tapos naging insomniac ako kakaisip ng mga useless fears and confusions. Grabe talaga yung depression ko nun. My family and friends are just so supportive of me to remind me of my worth and lift up my spirit. Prayers help me a lot of course. Yun ang hindi ko winala nung mga panahon na yun..

To everyone who’s going through that crisis, just stay strong and pray a lot.. God knows the desires of our heart..

Basta kasi, sometimes listening to your self talaga is the best decision there is.. And, if somethin is really meant for you, the universe will conspire to make it happen.. God bless everyone!

Letters from Spica

Welcome to Letters of Spica!

When I was just a little kid, I have always been fascinated by anything related to stars. There’s something about them that really draw my attention even up until this time. They are a joy to watch at night time when they are the only shining things up there. When I feel like watching the night sky and heavy, dark clouds hide them, I get sad (Weeehh.. emo?! Lol!!).

This fascination actually is more of just reading some stuff about them every now and then and just watching them and ‘talking’ to them at times. It never get to the point when I will actually collect items star-shaped and all. I just simply love them.

So, when I thought of creating a blog name, ‘Spica’ instantly got into the picture. Spica, Wikipedia says, is the brightest star in the constellation Virgo, which is my zodiac. Hmm..  Me mentioning about zodiac is and will be rare since I am really not that much into horoscope. It just so happened that stars and Spica are related to it

Then, why Letters from Spica? Not much to explain about it actually. I just want to include Spica on the blog title :) Letters from Spica will contain and speak about my loud whispers and silent shouts.

I would like to make this blog my official blog  If ever, my Friendster blog will mirror some of my entries here. God bless everyone