Some Revelations I Used to Be Afraid, Hesitant, and Shy to Share…

This was originally posted on my FS blog on December 2, 2006. I’ll soon write a follow up to this, a much updated version. This re-posted entry has some few tweaking. I just want to share (again) my thoughts and experiences on some things…

LIFE
Should be entrusted to God completely

POLITICS
Most people who are into it are lured by the desire to gain power and money and not by the devotion to serve (God’s) people. It sucks.

PHIL. GOVT
It thinks Filipinos are gullible. But Juan Dela Cruz’s race thinks and acts like one at times, especially during election. So depressing. Beware of the ultra dirty traditional politicians. Mas may silbi sana sila nung dumating sila Ondoy, Peping, at Santi kasi kelangan ng maraming trapo nun panlinis ng maruming kapaligiran (Weeehh.. bad girl… Got it from an entry in Chico and Delamar’s Top Ten in RX Monster Radio)

FAMILY
Second to God. People who’ll love you as you are and help you grow closer to God.

FRIENDSHIP
Truly an amazing God’s gift. No commitment and yet true love resides.

RELATIONSHIPS
Should be an extension of one’s best self. Don’t be into it if you haven’t found yourself yet. It’s not the missing piece that would complete you. That ultra special someone should complement you.

“The most amazing love is the one you have for yourself. And if you find someone who love the YOU you love, then that’s just fabulous..”(Carrie Bradshaw, “Sex and the City”)

SINGLE BLESSEDNESS
If you’re not happy being single, then you can’t be happy if you’re in a relationship as well.

IDEAL DATE
Anywhere that stars (Hey, Spica!) and the moon can be seen best

SWEETEST THING(S) THAT A GUY CAN DO
Sing me a song. Laugh at my super corny jokes.  Pray with me.

WORST THING THAT HE CAN DO
Make me feel that I don’t exist

PEOPLE I CONSIDER MOST WONDERFUL
Those who speak their minds without even trying to impress; those who talk about how much they love their family; those who express their religious faith without bragging how his/her soul would be saved come doomsday; those who dream big and put their hearts on it; those who have scarred soul but stay beautiful

THING THAT CAN FREAK ME OUT AND LOSE MY RESERVED PERSONALITY
Insult me or hurt anyone in my family

UNPLEASANT BEHAVIOR THAT CAN MAKE ME FEEL EXTREMELY UNWORTHY
Scream at my face. It would make me cry in an instant. My Tatay never even did it to me when he was still alive.

ONE OF THE MOST DARING THINGS I EVER DID
Raced through a bus stop to look for my English 23 Instructor (Who extremely disliked me because I’m part of the student paper that she considers “pasaway.” We write articles in the paper against her then because she’s way abusive of her being a teacher) in a bus where I suspected her to be to pass my thesis proposal. The bus had then started to move and I was like crazy looking for her when all along I knew that she had noticed me na. And when I finally saw her, I insisted that she has no reason whatsoever not to accept my proposal. Kasi sabi nya she will not accept propposal once she reached Trece Martirez where she lives. The ride was then halfway through to Indang-Trece boundary and she was like delaying her decision so I would be rejected.

She gave me 3 on the subject. The lowest grade I ever received all my school life, in one of the subjects I like best. One major move that crushed by cum laude dream I promised for my nanay..

MAJOR EGO-BREAKING THING I DID IN 2006 (as of Dec1)
Phoned in someone I’ve been praying to talk to, to ask for a time when we could “settle” “unsettled things.” The talk never materialized (I’m sooooo over this by now anyway. Closure has found its way to my soul last 2007 pa).

ONE OF MY FONDEST CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
Ate an orange crayon! ‘Was so curious about what would happen when the orange crayon mixed with my red, young blood. I was like 4 or 5 then. My Tatay almost suffered from panic attack.

ENCOUNTER WITH A TERROR ELEM. SCHOOL TEACHER
It was my first time to see a giant world map almost the size of the entire blackboard. I was so amazed by its hugeness that when my teacher called my name to show to the class where an Asian country is, it took me forever to locate it. She was so yamot that she held my head against the board (while I’m praying that may the floor swallow me whole) while screaming right to my face: LAKIHAN mo kasi ang mga mata mo!!!

My enraged nanay showed up to the guidance office the next day. Then I saw my teacher reported to the principal’s office that afternoon, head down. Since then, I became traumatized to teachers with short curly hair, thick eyeglass, big rolling eyes and pregnant-like belly. And since then also, I promised to myself that no one can ever make me feel so ‘tanga’ again. Ever.

ADVICE THAT MY TATAY ALWAYS TELLS ME WHEN HE WAS STILL ALIVE
‘Wag kang papa-api..”

Half Rice

half rice_from Vanessa Pike-Russell's photostream (flickr)

Before, I have this thinking that I am completely healthy. Healthy in the sense that I can’t get sick… I am not fat nor thin… I eat vegetables (well, hmm.. just few of them), fruit.. I eat on time… I get enough sleep.. I drink liters of water a day..

Until I got sick…

Last April 2008, I decided to see an obstetrician-gynecologist. Yup, the specialist pregnant women see. But of course, the entire universe knows that I am not pregnant (woohh.. as if the moon, mars, and stars care about me not being pregnant.. LOL!!!). That time was the second month I am not having my supposedly monthly period. It has affected me quite much, particularly my mood, which has gotten so swingy. My condition made me so paranoid that time I so badly need to see a doctor.

The female doctor who diagnosed me is great. She did all the needed tests and examinations to determine why I am not having my period. Just imagine how awkward it is to fall in line for the lane intended for women carrying a baby on their womb. Almost everyone there was asking me if I am pregnant. So it was kind’a difficult to explain my situation then.

I won’t go into the details of all those medical procedures coz I am so shy..(shy? But I have even managed to start writing about it??!!! Lol!!) The diagnosis found out that I have this hormonal and ovarian problem affecting my menstruation. For almost a year, I took a pill to regulate it.

Prior to this ‘major medical history,’ I have been seeing my ophthalmologist to regularly check on the condition of my poor eyesight. Until now, I regularly meet with him to monitor if my eye grade is maintained or has increased. And just lately, I confirmed my long suspected hyperacidity.

With all these medical conditions, I self-imposed diet restriction. Starting at the last quarter of 2007, I stopped eating pork. And at the last quarter of 2008, I swore to eat only half rice during lunch and in some meal time except breakfast (I can’t last a day without rice or sinangag for breakfast). That, I think, aggravated my hyperacidity. I even partnered this half rice diet with frequent Sunday morning jogging (But I’ve stopped recently kasi yung jogging pakner kong friend, busy na. Tanghali na magising. Kaya nanawagan po ako kay Jing! Gumising ka na ulet ng maaga every Sunday

Initially, I was getting the anticipated weird remarks from officemates and friends who started to notice my half rice diet. Of course there were some who obviously raised their brows.

At first, I seem to just be fooling myself when I eat only half rice. But later on, I got so used to it that I can no longer eat more than half rice. My friends tell me that if I would go on a date, there’ll be much cost saving on the food budget

So what have all these health measures did to me? I get to feel healthy again and more conscious about my lifestyle. I got to inspire my family and friends to live healthy as well, at least, in my own little way :)