Brain Cells

Jing, a dear friend of mine, told me a piece of advice I always try to remember: ‘Ang brain cells, irreplaceable at di nagmu-multiply. Sayang lang ang brain cells mo if mapupuno lang ng sadness at pain. Dapat happy thoughts.’

Sayang ang brain cells…

Everytime na naiisip ko ang lalaking paulit-ulit akong niyaya magpakasal nun, via chat lang, na all along ay di naman pala seryoso. Gullible kasi ako at times. I go back to that advice…

Sayang ang brain cells…

Sa officemate ko na sobrang interested sa buhay ko na lahat ng kilos ko ay pinupuna at lagi syang may negatibong komento, iniisip ko…

Sayang ang brain cells…

Sa mga pasaway na tryke drivers sa terminal malapit samen, pati na rin mga ilang jeepney drivers (sorry po for including you here…) na nakakalimutan yatang naghahanap-buhay rin ako at kelangan kong pumasok ng maaga tuwing inaabot sila ng dekada pagkuha at paghihintay ng pasahero, nire-recall ko sa isip ko…

Sayang ang brain cells…

Sa tuwing may nangungulit magtanong why I’m still single until this time, yung tanong na may halong pangungutya at the back of their minds, deep sigh na lang tsaka…

Sayang ang brain cells…

Pag may pasaway at maligalig na client sa office, think straight and properly pa rin tsaka…

Sayang ang brain cells…

Pag depress-depressan ang mood ko, iiyak lang ako saglit kahit parang mukha na akong tanga then naiisip ko yung advice…

Sayang ang brain cells…

Pag may naiinis saken at pinaparamdam at pinapakita talagang inis sya saken, tatahimik lang ako while uttering lots of prayers in my head para i-deal ng tama ang sitwasyon (yun ay kung na-control ko rin ang katarayan ko… joke! lol!), then sasabihin ko sa sarili ko…

Sayang ang brain cells…

Pag naguguluhan na ako sa nangyayari at di na keri ng powers ko, maingay ang katahimikan sa isip ko dahil gusto ko magdasal, kahit paluha na ang mga mata ko. Then feeling ko sinasabi saken ng isang angel…

Sayang ang brain cells…

Hayz.. Just last night, may 2 bagay akong prinomise sa Kanya. Sabi ko, part of that ‘little sacrifice’ is para sa isang makulit na hiling ko sa Kanya matagal na. Sana di Sya nakukulitan saken Ayoko na kasi sana magkaron ng useless fears and worries.

Sayang ang brain cells…

Kaya God, please continue to take charge of our lives po

Good night everyone! Special thank you to Warren Wong for taking time to always read my mushy sentiments sa blog ko na to… God bless…

Twenty-Something’s Crisis

I felt the need to repost this blog from my FS, which I originally posted on October 20, 2007. This has some additional tidbits, but basically retained the original post. I want to create a new entry related to this..
Katz, Nax, Peter, thank you so much for reading/visiting my blog  :)

I read an article somewhere na when you’re twenty something daw, you’ll tend to experience the so called “middle life crisis.” This, according to the article, is the stage daw when you suddenly become confused about a lot of things: your self, career, relationship and friends. Reading through the piece, I have concluded that I have gone through that stage. Ang hirap, sobra. I hated my self so much. It’s as if i’m not the “thinking and strong edz” as I know my self to be.

I resigned from my work as an Information Analyst in Alabang because I was too burned out. I like the work pero “napagod” talaga ako. From Alabang, I moved to Makati as a web content writer. The American employer was so strict that I can’t imagine my self staying there for another day. So I quitted again. Then came another opportunity from another web services outsourcing firm in Mandaluyong. I was about to start na pero bigla na naman ako nagkaroon ng reservations. Yun, di ko na naman tinuloy. Kahit very competitive sana ng salary and benefits.

Dami ko confusion no’n about my career. But now, I’m very happy na with my work. Kahit sobrang nakaka-pressure, I honestly love the challenge that goes with it. Nahihirapan lang ako sa idea na mahirap makipagsabayan pag sobrang galing ng mga colleagues mo. But so far, I can manage to deal with it the best way that I can. I’m so thankful that God put me in a job na sobrang bait ng employer. My current boss is one in a million. Sya lang ang boss na willing ka ipagtimpla ng coffee just to motivate you to finish your job. At sya lang ang boss na pag pressured and stressed ay nagti-treat ng bongga sa buong office. And sya yung boss na nagre-reflect un faith nya sa buong operation ng company. Anyone in the office pwede nyo tanungin about this. From the guards to the utility people, same treatment sya.

The “middle life crisis” I’ve dealt with also made me so lonely and alone about my being single. “Why can’t I find the man God has chosen for me when I’m actually ready na to commit (again) to a serious relationship.” Para akong tanga thinking that my biological clock is ticking so fast like a time bomb! Hehe…

But then again, I realized.. Ano naman ngayon kung single pa rin ako?!! (Kasi naman po, most of my batchmates are into a serious relationship na or are happily married na!). I have come to appreciate my being single like a bitter pill (sabi nga ni quickmelt sa Youngblood 1). I’ll stick to my faith that in God’s perfect time, the right man will come along. .

I’m just so thankful na na-overcome ko ang stage na yun. Now, i’m more certain that I am a better person. Mahirap yung “middle life crisis” na yun, Grabe! It came to a point kasi na I’m not eating properly na, tapos naging insomniac ako kakaisip ng mga useless fears and confusions. Grabe talaga yung depression ko nun. My family and friends are just so supportive of me to remind me of my worth and lift up my spirit. Prayers help me a lot of course. Yun ang hindi ko winala nung mga panahon na yun..

To everyone who’s going through that crisis, just stay strong and pray a lot.. God knows the desires of our heart..

Basta kasi, sometimes listening to your self talaga is the best decision there is.. And, if somethin is really meant for you, the universe will conspire to make it happen.. God bless everyone!