The Person I am With Everyday

A call from her mother and the alarm clock wake her up about 4:30 am every day. In most of the time, she’ll just ignore them and continue to shut her world from the call of a busy world. All the clocks in their home are set about 30 minutes earlier than the real time because her mother says she doesn’t know how to move quickly. It will take about several alarm clock snooze rings and calls downstairs from her mother before she’ll get up. The moment she opens her eyes, she’ll utter a silent prayer for the new life and His continued guidance.

Breakfast is a bonding time to her and her mother. In most of the time, she’ll arrive home late and tired to even sit down and converse with her, so the conversation happens during breakfast. The girl with lots of rituals in bathing, she’ll spend about 30-40 minutes in the bathroom. Shampooing and conditioning her hair takes most of the bath time. From the bathroom, she’ll rush to put on her contact lens, which, in most time, difficult to wear. Then, rush again to put on her clothes and makeup. She really has this ‘affinity’ to ‘rushing’ things before coming to work.

Before leaving their home, she’ll kiss her Mom and say good bye. Since she was just a young girl, she never forgets to kiss her Mom before leaving their home (and arriving from work, school, or from anywhere). She feels that it’s the best way to have her mother’s guidance and blessing whenever she’s away from home.

Commuting to work, she’ll walk fast to ride a tricycle, passing the terminal. Tricycle drivers in their place know very well that she’ll pass them by. She’s been into some petty arguments with them before because the tryke won’t leave until there are no vacant seats. Meaning to say, she’ll be late for work (for the nth time!). Then, at the Olivarez-Binan jeepney terminal at the Bulihan entry, she’ll race along with other passengers to get to the jeep as fast as she can instead of waiting for the next jeepney to come (and be late for another more minutes!).

Arriving in Olivarez in Binan, Laguna, she’ll wait for traffic light to turn red so she can cross the busy street. There was a crossover (She thought it was flyover. You see, she can’t just recognize the difference between flyover and crossover. The same way that she’s confuse about a lot of several things. Worst, she’s not even sure that it’s crossover. Lol!) That was constructed in a hurry so the Mayor’s and Vice-Governor’s ultra big names can be flaunted there. Talk about building up a good image for the incoming election. She has tried using this crossover once. But never did it again because live electric wires connecting the big electric posts in the highway are all scattered on the middle part, that’s wide enough for her to hop over (when she’s very pa-girl). One wrong move and you’ll be dead. The nerve of these politicians to flaunt their names on substandard projects like that…

The traffic that she encounters everyday from GMA, Cavite to Olivarez is a bit better compared with the traffic that await for her from Olivarez to San Pedro. This is more so in Pacita where most of the bus terminals are located and in Landayan where it’s flooded by devotees of Jesus in the Holy Sepulcher. This should be a daily scenario that she’s supposed to have mastered dealing with everyday. But no. In most of the time, she still gets frustrated and stressed when the highway suddenly turns into a big parking lot. This girl is very much hates herself for always being late at work.

When she reaches United (short for United San Pedro Subdivision where their office is located) late, she’ll opt to ride a tryke from the terminal, costing P21 (as of this writing). This is her punishment to herself whenever she’s late. She wants the tryke drivers benefit from her being late. But in some rare times when she arrives early, she’ll go for one of the trykes that will stop for her. This cost on P7. A big saving for her daily budget at work.

Arriving at their office, she’ll rush to the comfort room to check on herself. One of the hassles of commuting is the big possibility of you inhaling the polluted air, getting your face oily, and your hair messed up. She wants to make sure that before several of her officemates see her, she’s as presentable as she can be. When she gets to her cubicle, she’ll immediately open her laptop and check for clients’ e-mails or offline messages from her boss and officemates about a project. Positive feedbacks from clients can certainly brighten up her day.

She makes it a point, if she can manages to, to always tune in to RX Monster Radio’s The Morning Rush with Chico and Del, or to Love Radio’s Tambalan to set her mood. These are her favorite radio programs. She really appreciates these radio tandems and loves their views on lots of things. Listening to them brings lots of smiles in her face, as well as silent/controlled laughs.  There was a time when she almost fell on the floor laughing when suddenly a window chat popped out on her laptop screen. It was her boss asking what is she doing at the moment. Good thing that their room is the only area in the entire office that has no web cams. Her boss’ question has nothing to do with her ‘almost fell on the floor from laughing out loud’ status. He was following up on the status of the web sites she’s doing.

In most of the time, she fights with her narcoleptic mood as she digs herself doing her daily writing and editing tasks. There came a time when she can drink about three cups of coffee a day. But hyperacidity trimmed her coffee addiction to just one cup. Green tea then became her alternative for the black drink.

This person I am with everyday learned that she needs to befriend stress. She realized that it’s pointless to let stress affect her life that much since factors causing it are, well, inevitable. It best that way, she knew it.

She has gone through a lot of things most people could never even imagine. But no, don’t get her wrong. Like what most of you know about her, she was raised as a God fearing person and willing to fight for what she believes is right. She’ll remain firm with her belief as long as she knows she is right. But this girl doesn’t think it’s too difficult to say sorry if she’s wrong. She could be the most sincere person you could ever meet.

Since her father died, she was automatically programmed to be strong, more on the emotional aspect, because no one’s there to protect her, her mother, and her two older sisters. She speaks her mind strongly when needed. She’s very transparent with the way she feels and thinks. A thing that some people either love or hate most about her.

This person I am with everyday cries easily. She laughs out loud when very much happy. She screams when she’s too excited or mad.

It took me a while to introduce this person I am with everyday. I guess, I just need to check on her most of the time. To prove that I know her more than everyone else. I know her a lot. So enough to keep her faith whole and make her spirit strong. i know her faith and her family keep her sanity always.

Twenty-Something’s Crisis

I felt the need to repost this blog from my FS, which I originally posted on October 20, 2007. This has some additional tidbits, but basically retained the original post. I want to create a new entry related to this..
Katz, Nax, Peter, thank you so much for reading/visiting my blog  :)

I read an article somewhere na when you’re twenty something daw, you’ll tend to experience the so called “middle life crisis.” This, according to the article, is the stage daw when you suddenly become confused about a lot of things: your self, career, relationship and friends. Reading through the piece, I have concluded that I have gone through that stage. Ang hirap, sobra. I hated my self so much. It’s as if i’m not the “thinking and strong edz” as I know my self to be.

I resigned from my work as an Information Analyst in Alabang because I was too burned out. I like the work pero “napagod” talaga ako. From Alabang, I moved to Makati as a web content writer. The American employer was so strict that I can’t imagine my self staying there for another day. So I quitted again. Then came another opportunity from another web services outsourcing firm in Mandaluyong. I was about to start na pero bigla na naman ako nagkaroon ng reservations. Yun, di ko na naman tinuloy. Kahit very competitive sana ng salary and benefits.

Dami ko confusion no’n about my career. But now, I’m very happy na with my work. Kahit sobrang nakaka-pressure, I honestly love the challenge that goes with it. Nahihirapan lang ako sa idea na mahirap makipagsabayan pag sobrang galing ng mga colleagues mo. But so far, I can manage to deal with it the best way that I can. I’m so thankful that God put me in a job na sobrang bait ng employer. My current boss is one in a million. Sya lang ang boss na willing ka ipagtimpla ng coffee just to motivate you to finish your job. At sya lang ang boss na pag pressured and stressed ay nagti-treat ng bongga sa buong office. And sya yung boss na nagre-reflect un faith nya sa buong operation ng company. Anyone in the office pwede nyo tanungin about this. From the guards to the utility people, same treatment sya.

The “middle life crisis” I’ve dealt with also made me so lonely and alone about my being single. “Why can’t I find the man God has chosen for me when I’m actually ready na to commit (again) to a serious relationship.” Para akong tanga thinking that my biological clock is ticking so fast like a time bomb! Hehe…

But then again, I realized.. Ano naman ngayon kung single pa rin ako?!! (Kasi naman po, most of my batchmates are into a serious relationship na or are happily married na!). I have come to appreciate my being single like a bitter pill (sabi nga ni quickmelt sa Youngblood 1). I’ll stick to my faith that in God’s perfect time, the right man will come along. .

I’m just so thankful na na-overcome ko ang stage na yun. Now, i’m more certain that I am a better person. Mahirap yung “middle life crisis” na yun, Grabe! It came to a point kasi na I’m not eating properly na, tapos naging insomniac ako kakaisip ng mga useless fears and confusions. Grabe talaga yung depression ko nun. My family and friends are just so supportive of me to remind me of my worth and lift up my spirit. Prayers help me a lot of course. Yun ang hindi ko winala nung mga panahon na yun..

To everyone who’s going through that crisis, just stay strong and pray a lot.. God knows the desires of our heart..

Basta kasi, sometimes listening to your self talaga is the best decision there is.. And, if somethin is really meant for you, the universe will conspire to make it happen.. God bless everyone!

Quick Response

Photo from GospelGifs

It was one of the few and rare moments that I never got to eat my breakfast. I woke up so late that if I will eat my routinary heavy sinangag almusal, I’ll be terribly late for work. With empty stomach, I almost flew my way through the tricyle’s terminal, almost wanting to brawl at the driver for still parking and waiting for more passengers. When I finally arrived at my work (after tryke, I still need to ride two jeepneys and one more tryke again), I was literally starving I can’t even concentrate on what I’m writing then. It was then that I silently prayed “God, gusto ko po ng hot choco at sinangag…” Then Vero, our office’s liaison officer, suddenly made a head count. Nagpapabili raw si Sir Larry ng Jobi (this is how I call the famous fastfood chain) breakfast for all of us! And yes, my noisy stomach was silenced.

Few years ago, when I was a fresh grad eagerly looking for employment, I patiently followed the direction instructed by the company that set me up for an interview. Though I have the sketch complete with all the landmarks, I still have difficulty getting to the place (Kulang na lang baliktarin ko ang suot ko kasi feeling ko naliligaw ako.. lol!!!). Then I prayed: “sana may makasabay akong papunta dun..” A few seconds after, I saw a woman I felt comfortable asking about the building I am looking for. “Papunta rin ako dun. Sabay na tayo..” Just imagine how I was literally guided by an angel to reach that place.

Then one time in the jeepney, I happen to sat beside a heavily drunken man with lots of big knives. I was so paranoid I was thinking he might freak out any moment and hostage me. And so I prayed again: “sana wala syang gawing masama at bumaba na sya…” Then the drunken man spoke up to me and said “wag kang matakot ha. Napainom lang ako sa mga kaibigan ko. Galing ako sa trabaho eh.”

Of course, all of the lines I said here are not the exact words that were uttered, but they are the exact message (confusing? Lol!).

I honestly pray a lot. I can’t imagine doing anything at all or starting my day without talking to Him. He has always been there for me and I feel so blessed to recognize His responses to my prayers. God responds to my prayers in such an amazing way I almost literally cry everytime He does it. Every prayer I have, from simple to complicated things, He always have that quick response. And He always allows me to recognize it. You see, I always have this tendency to misinterpret certain scenario. It’s because I literally rely on my own understanding of things. But when it comes to recognizing His responses to my prayers, I feel like He’s increasing my capacity to decipher what seemed to me vague circumstances. He is really amazing.

Faith is difficult to maintain if we will just dwell on the complexity of things and not on the idea that we have Him to work things out for us. I used to have that really small faith and big worries about a lot of things in my life. It saddens me everytime I am faced with a difficult situation, hopeless and almost wanting to give up. I find it really frustrating that some things don’t happen as I want them to be. But when I started to realize that His ways are always the best ways, worries disappear. No matter how difficult a situation is, I am keeping my faith that He will solve things the best way.

I have to admit though that there are still times when I seem to act as a faithless person. But I am doing my best to let my faith prevail. There are a lot of temptations and invitations to be a sinner. And our strong faith will take as away from those.

I have been wanting to blog about this topic. I want to share how God answers our every prayer. It may not always be in the exact way that we wanted it, but believe me, His ways are always the best for us. Most of the time, we don’t recognize His responses because we are too focused on what We want to happen, and not on what He wants to happen. Prayer is powerful. Everytime we speak to Him, He always listens by heart.

Ei, I don’t wanna sound like a preacher here. My motive is to share how powerful prayer is and How God works things out for us once we allow Him to.

Well, if there’s one prayer I have that He has not been answering yet, it’s to finally meet and be with the man He has chosen for me (minsan iniisip ko, siguro nahihirapan Sya na hanapan ako.. lol!! Joke!!).  Kidding aside, I know that this is one prayer He’s putting me in ‘waiting mode’ while working on the answer. Of course, He doesn’t want one of His princesses to get hurt and be sad again, so He’ll look for that one ultra special man who is deserving of her.

Pray always and keep the faith everyone… =)