Some Revelations I Used to Be Afraid, Hesitant, and Shy to Share…

This was originally posted on my FS blog on December 2, 2006. I’ll soon write a follow up to this, a much updated version. This re-posted entry has some few tweaking. I just want to share (again) my thoughts and experiences on some things…

LIFE
Should be entrusted to God completely

POLITICS
Most people who are into it are lured by the desire to gain power and money and not by the devotion to serve (God’s) people. It sucks.

PHIL. GOVT
It thinks Filipinos are gullible. But Juan Dela Cruz’s race thinks and acts like one at times, especially during election. So depressing. Beware of the ultra dirty traditional politicians. Mas may silbi sana sila nung dumating sila Ondoy, Peping, at Santi kasi kelangan ng maraming trapo nun panlinis ng maruming kapaligiran (Weeehh.. bad girl… Got it from an entry in Chico and Delamar’s Top Ten in RX Monster Radio)

FAMILY
Second to God. People who’ll love you as you are and help you grow closer to God.

FRIENDSHIP
Truly an amazing God’s gift. No commitment and yet true love resides.

RELATIONSHIPS
Should be an extension of one’s best self. Don’t be into it if you haven’t found yourself yet. It’s not the missing piece that would complete you. That ultra special someone should complement you.

“The most amazing love is the one you have for yourself. And if you find someone who love the YOU you love, then that’s just fabulous..”(Carrie Bradshaw, “Sex and the City”)

SINGLE BLESSEDNESS
If you’re not happy being single, then you can’t be happy if you’re in a relationship as well.

IDEAL DATE
Anywhere that stars (Hey, Spica!) and the moon can be seen best

SWEETEST THING(S) THAT A GUY CAN DO
Sing me a song. Laugh at my super corny jokes.  Pray with me.

WORST THING THAT HE CAN DO
Make me feel that I don’t exist

PEOPLE I CONSIDER MOST WONDERFUL
Those who speak their minds without even trying to impress; those who talk about how much they love their family; those who express their religious faith without bragging how his/her soul would be saved come doomsday; those who dream big and put their hearts on it; those who have scarred soul but stay beautiful

THING THAT CAN FREAK ME OUT AND LOSE MY RESERVED PERSONALITY
Insult me or hurt anyone in my family

UNPLEASANT BEHAVIOR THAT CAN MAKE ME FEEL EXTREMELY UNWORTHY
Scream at my face. It would make me cry in an instant. My Tatay never even did it to me when he was still alive.

ONE OF THE MOST DARING THINGS I EVER DID
Raced through a bus stop to look for my English 23 Instructor (Who extremely disliked me because I’m part of the student paper that she considers “pasaway.” We write articles in the paper against her then because she’s way abusive of her being a teacher) in a bus where I suspected her to be to pass my thesis proposal. The bus had then started to move and I was like crazy looking for her when all along I knew that she had noticed me na. And when I finally saw her, I insisted that she has no reason whatsoever not to accept my proposal. Kasi sabi nya she will not accept propposal once she reached Trece Martirez where she lives. The ride was then halfway through to Indang-Trece boundary and she was like delaying her decision so I would be rejected.

She gave me 3 on the subject. The lowest grade I ever received all my school life, in one of the subjects I like best. One major move that crushed by cum laude dream I promised for my nanay..

MAJOR EGO-BREAKING THING I DID IN 2006 (as of Dec1)
Phoned in someone I’ve been praying to talk to, to ask for a time when we could “settle” “unsettled things.” The talk never materialized (I’m sooooo over this by now anyway. Closure has found its way to my soul last 2007 pa).

ONE OF MY FONDEST CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
Ate an orange crayon! ‘Was so curious about what would happen when the orange crayon mixed with my red, young blood. I was like 4 or 5 then. My Tatay almost suffered from panic attack.

ENCOUNTER WITH A TERROR ELEM. SCHOOL TEACHER
It was my first time to see a giant world map almost the size of the entire blackboard. I was so amazed by its hugeness that when my teacher called my name to show to the class where an Asian country is, it took me forever to locate it. She was so yamot that she held my head against the board (while I’m praying that may the floor swallow me whole) while screaming right to my face: LAKIHAN mo kasi ang mga mata mo!!!

My enraged nanay showed up to the guidance office the next day. Then I saw my teacher reported to the principal’s office that afternoon, head down. Since then, I became traumatized to teachers with short curly hair, thick eyeglass, big rolling eyes and pregnant-like belly. And since then also, I promised to myself that no one can ever make me feel so ‘tanga’ again. Ever.

ADVICE THAT MY TATAY ALWAYS TELLS ME WHEN HE WAS STILL ALIVE
‘Wag kang papa-api..”

Lessons from the Typhoon

No one was prepared when Typhoon Ondoy hit most parts of Metro Manila and nearby provinces. His impact was heavily felt by a lot of people. And I could only pray for those who were badly affected. Even us have friends and families who experienced the storm’s fury.

When we were still living in Makati, I’ve experienced knee-deep flooding. I was so irritated about the sight of water in every part of our house I so wish it could disappear in an instant. But it was nothing compared to the flooding being experienced by the victims of Ondoy. My heart goes out to them.

Last Friday during our bible study at the office, Pastor Billy relayed important lessons about the storm, particularly when you are in floods. He said flood will teach us:

Prioritization
We want to save everything we can, but it’s an impossible thing to do. So you will have to prioritize saving and/or keeping only those that are really important. When you’re in that situation when you seem to be so focused on a lot of things, being in flood will reset all your attention to things that truly matters and worth keeping.

One time, still during a bible study in the office, we were asked, ‘What are your priorities in life?’ The usual answers go: God, family, career, etc.. Then our pastor said: ‘Would it be more worthwhile if our priorities are God, God in our family, God in our careers, and God in every aspect of our lives?’

And that has set my mind into much deeper thinking.

Letting Go
Another lesson of being in flood according to Pastor Billy is letting go. When you can’t save everything that you want to save, consequently you’ll be ‘forced’ to let go. Much as we wanted to keep everything or treasure the memories that go with it, we just simply can’t. Sometimes, letting go needs to come by/with force just to make you realize that it’s totally useless to hold on to things that cannot and will not stay forever.

Another lesson, which was implied but not directly mentioned, is:

To Value Life
Everything can be lost within seconds, including our lives. No one is indispensable in this world. The gift of life is one of the most wonderful things He has ever given us. And to show our appreciation to the One who gave it to us, we need to value our lives. Every moment of it.

We can’t be with our loved ones all the time and forever, so it can make a world of difference to have them feel and know how they are deeply loved by us. Always.

God bless and keep the faith everyone