Blanked

It is four minutes before 6PM as I start to write this entry. I just finished my routinary ‘aero dance’ with my niece. The view from my room’s window is completely surrounded by the looming dark night. Cold seasonal wind chills my spine. Natasha Bedingfield’s ‘Soulmate’ cries from my laptop’s speakers. The music, I think, is written for someone like me :)  I wish I could perform that on drums or piano, if only I know how to. It’s one of my frustrations. If our church could buy a new set of musical instruments soon, maybe our music ministry can teach me to play least one instrument.

Then, suddenly I’m blanked. I’m without a direction what to write about. Staring at the immaculate white MS Word before me, a chat suddenly popped out from my screen. It was my former officemate. Asking for forgiveness and for us being at least ‘civil’ to each other. I can’t. Now. Just for once, please, allow me to be unkind. Sometimes, I wanna get tired of being so kind and understanding to people. Because no matter how nice and sincere you can be to them, they can still return your kindness with pain. God must be frowning at me now. I am so sorry. In due time, I guess, I can be ‘civil’ with them. The pain, I guess, has made me so numb. Again and again. And again.

This was one of those blogging moments when I will start to write a new post then stop because I really don’t have an exact thing in mind to discuss about. I just wanna write and pour out all my thoughts at the moment. And so this post was continued after about almost a month. Lol!!! I got so busy practicing for FilWeb Asia’s Writing Department’s bid to defend our championship (We have this FilWeb Idols talent competition every Christmas party). Add to that the inconvenient scenario at home the past month due to some repair and renovation works. At least now I can sigh with relief that it’s all over now. Our Christmas party was held last night.